Ukraine to use Marc Lowe CD-Rs as a defense against invading Russian military forces

Ukraine to use Marc Lowe CD-Rs as a defense against invading Russian military forces. It is hoped that the ear damaging cacophony of Marc Lowe noise will make the Russians retreat and leave Ukraine alone. As a preventive measure, all Ukrainian citizens will be issued ear plugs to ensure they do not suffer the same punishment administered to the Ruskies. The leaders of Ukraine have instructed citizens on how to play the CD-Rs, which will be donated by NATO and the New Jersey Institute of Narcissistic Genius Musicans Who Can't Play Anything in the next few hours. Ukraine is also toying with the idea of dropping boomboxes streaming Marc Lowe music on Spotify on Moscow to terrorize the Russian politicians responsible for their aggression on what was a peaceful Marc Lowe Music Free Zone in Eastern Europe.  

Xi Jinping declares West Taiwan a Marc Lowe Music Free Zone

Breaking news from The Uri Tenpo News Network desk in the luxurious Taipei 101 in The Orient: 

Supremes Founder & Fearless Leader Chairman Xi Jinping declares West Taiwan a Marc Lowe Music Free Zone. The country formerly known as China can't stand the racket. Because they can't stand the racket, the WTA will hold no more tennis tournaments there. West Taiwan responded to American insolence by banning fake musician Marc Lowe and his cacophonous noise mislabeled as music from West Taiwan.

Jumping Jinping's news flash flash flash can be viewed exclusively on YouTube, purveyor of fact checked woke left wing liberal tree hugging news and human interest stories. 

There are unfounded rumors that Diana Ross has hired Uri Tenpo to produce her next solo album "Old But Still A Beach" currently being recorded in Marc Shroud Studios in the Big Mikan of Tokyo, Metropolis of the Orient.

Stay safe this Hanukkah by avoiding anything related to toxic fake musician poseur Marc Lowe.

Tommy Talofofo declares Garden Paradise Kitakyushu a Marc Lowe Music Free Zone

 

In what is arguably the best news of 2021 (Year 1 of the Biden Banana Republic) Kitakyushu Spokesman Mr. Tommy Talofofo declares Garden Paradise Kitakyushu a Marc Lowe Music Free Zone to the pleasure of the nearly one million residents of this Pearl of the Orient. Tommy is a card carrying member of the Uri Tenpo Movement and a wonderful advocate of Chamorro rights. Marc is known by many as the worst musician, singer, and songwriter in the world.

May the music in your respective cities be as swell as the music on Guam and in Kitakyushu. May you maintain your hearing and sanity throughout 2021 and long into the future. May you never have to suffer at the hands of bad music by terrible musicians ever again.

Musical connoisseurs of the world, UNITE!

Your buddy,

Uri Tenpo

Duck U Sicko - Starring Guido Di Sicko - An Uri Tenpo Film

 

DUCK U SICKO is going to be the biggest bestest blockbuster movie of the Summer of 2021 (Year 1 of Biden Banana Republic). It features an excellent soundtrack of Music by: NOT Marc Lowe. Uri Tenpo Productions is fast becoming a major player in the film industry. Besides sponsoring the extremely popular and successful Rising Sun International Film Festival, UTP also is working hard to eradicate the world of bad music. Guido Di Sicko has joined forces with the Uri Tenpo Movement and is doing a mother ducking good job ensuring establishments promise to be Marc Lowe Music Free Zones. During these trying times of the Marcovid23 Virus and other maladies caused by the horrible noises on Dark Shroud Records (a fake record label with no physical address) it is important to ensure the safety of patrons by enforcing Marc Lowe Music Free Zones. Stay very safety by not playing and CD-Rs or diarrhea streaming of DSR and Marc Lowe.  

Colonel Sanders declares KFC Kentucky Fried Chicken a Marc Lowe Music Free Zone

Comrades!

Christmas came early this year.

Colonel Sanders declares KFC Kentucky Fried Chicken a Marc Lowe Music Free Zone. This amazing announcement was made by none other than KFC's founder, Harland Sanders on December 16, 2020, exactly 40 years since he passed away. The key members of the Uri Tenpo Movement hold seances regularly and one of their advisors is the Spirit of Colonel Sanders who lives in the Heavenly State of Kentucky.

This Christmas you can take your families to KFC for a delicious meal of healthy fried chicken in a peaceful and pleasant Marc Lowe Music Free Zone. There will be cacophony of random noises and pig squeals to disturb your family dinner---If you still have a family, that is.

Be very safety this holiday season. Avoid the Marcovid23 Virus. Avoid crappy live houses and coffee shops that let fake musicians pay to play. Don't wasted Shekels on CD-Rs burned by fake record labels. Eat Kentucky Fried Chicken and buy stock in YUM (NYSE: YUM) 

YUM! BRANDS INC. includes Kentucky Fried Chicken, Taco Bell and Pizza Hut. All are Marc Lowe Music Free Zone and excellent dining establishments. Eat well and be swell. Don't impale yourself on a black nail.